What is Dead May Never Die
by DocteureCrane
Summary: Some mysterious attacks happen in Brooklyn and Blair wants to make sure that Dan is safe. (Post season 6. Not post-apocalyptic but set right at its beginning. Lots of angst, some Derena. Chuck may or may not get a horrible death. Also, Hipster Zombies!)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Dairlings! Now, I know what you're all thinking! ****_Another fic?_****_When she has so many unfinished ones?_**** And you guys are definitely right! But this idea came to me, as I was half-asleep, thinking about Dair (I never go to sleep without thinking about them I love them too much) so I had to jot it down. I actually ended up posting some of it on my Tumblr but I deleted it not long ago so I could focus on my studies. **

**I'm guessing it'll end up being a long one shot or a short, 2 to 3 chapters story (may be a little more because I love going overboard). **

**So combining my love of zombies and Dair of course, I present you with this post-apocalyptic Dair fanfiction!Ta-da!**

**I'll mostly leave it hanging until I finish the others but it'll be here, waiting for it's time to shine.**

**Also, this takes place shortly after the Chair wedding in season 6. So there is no Henry yet, which is convenient, but Derena hasn't happened either. Also, my headcanons (and probably anyone who has any logic does share my opinion) are that Dan is NOT Gossip Girl and Blair deeply regrets the whole Bart Bass episode.**

**I dedicate this chapter to Sapphire1719, who promptly pushed me to publish it on fanfiction!**

The first person she calls when the news of the strange outbreak are broadcasted is Dan.

It doesn't make sense. Her husband is half way across the globe, somewhere in Austria, making deals to multiply the profits of the late Bart Bass' company. When she thinks of Chuck, she remembers Bart falling to his second and final death. It's engraved in her mind until she spends nights in frightful wakefulness, wondering about the special place in hell that had hers and Chuck's initials stamped upon.

It's Dan she calls nonetheless, even if she knows that he hates her or that he would rather cut off his own tongue than being forced to remain in her company for more than necessary. Her own husband is rarely in her mind these days.

She has not seen much of him since her wedding and perhaps, that is exactly why she thinks of him first. That and the fact that the first attacks had apparently taken place in Brooklyn.

It did not surprise her at all that Brooklyn should be the origin of questionable, shady and downright frightening activities. The newscaster said something about a group of people who had gone about mutilating others. There were instances of cannibalism too but other than that, the police could say no more. There was a general alert asking the residents of Brooklyn to be careful and remain indoors if possible until the police are certain that the danger is truly vanished.

The telephone rings and her heart is a mess of uncontrolled beatings. She is afraid for so many reasons and all of them revolve around the revolting way in which she has treated him the past few months before her marriage to Chuck.

He will not want to talk to her.

There is no answer. She hangs up, feeling anxious. The vastness of her apartment does not help. It is cold and empty, like her old home used to be. She always thought it would be different, that Blair would never make the same mistake as her mother. She wished for the cosiness she had never had as a child but here she is, in a silent apartment, surrounded with the same things that would never make her truly happy. The expensive furniture is beautiful and sleek, yet it still looked unused, even after a year through their marriage. She had become unable to approach the television, especially if it meant watching any of her favourite movies. Every time she made herself ready for some Hepburn, she feels her heart turn unwilling. Watching the movie would mean allowing herself to be invaded by memories of her old friendship and then, there would be no fun in watching the movie at all. It will all be a bitter festival of all of Blair Waldorf's wrongs, nagging at her because there was nobody else whom she could blame.

She is in her limo before she even realizes what she is doing. It's stupid and dangerous and if Dan doesn't even want to answer the phone, he'll probably slam the door on her face. But she has to see him and it's irrational.

_I'll apologize for everything. I want us to be friends again. He'll understand. I know he will_.

It doesn't feel right but she believes it like she hasn't believed in anyone or anything before.

When they reach Brooklyn, the severity of the situation hits her hard. She had assumed that the mobsters had been nothing but street delinquents, whom the police would have no trouble uprooting from the shady streets. Instead, the quietness of the place is frightening. Doors are locked everywhere and the curtains are drawn. She tries to spot an open café but she finds none. Instead, the tables outside are overturned and shards of glass from broken cups lay around like deadly snow. Her driver goes about slowly; he too has noticed the strangeness of the place.

It doesn't take long before they come across a police car. They are motioned to stop by its driver so they do. It gets darker as they advance into the afternoon and Blair feels her anxiousness multiply.

"You can't be here." He eyes their car before adding. "Better return to the city."

"We just want to visit a friend. It won't take long." Blair adds, infusing authority in her tone but she knows that the times and place where this would have worked have long disappeared.

"This isn't a request. If you value your safety, I'd be on my way. A car like that doesn't go unnoticed."

He watches nervously around and she nods in response. Her driver pulls away and makes a manoeuvre to turn back. When the police car is out of her sight, Blair takes out her mobile phone.

"We're still going." She tells her driver.

"But we can't, Miss. We're already on dangerous grounds. I think Mr. Bass would have me fired if I allow you to remain here any longer."

She is tired of Mr. Bass coming up whenever she addresses anybody who works at their building. It's that and the pressing need to see Dan that prompts her to speak.

"Look, I'm _Mrs_. Bass and I want to get to the address. Failure to get me there will certainly result in you being fired. So either you take me there or we go back to the city while you have fewer days in this uniform."

He has no reply to make. She shows him the alternate route found on her phone's GPS and he quietly drives to the place. Fortunately, they encounter no more police cars, or anyone for that matter.

Humphrey's building looks just the same. Blair stops before getting out of the car. What if Serena is there? What if Rufus is there? How could she show her face after months of pretending to loathe Dan more than Penelope's worst mismatched outfit?

Her driver opens the door, avoiding her look. Her feet hit the ground and she is seized with a mild panic.

"Shall I wait here?" He inquires. She nods in response.

Blair is not yet at the entrance when she hears a blood-curling scream. The seemingly comforting emptiness had been all but trumpery. She turns to be greeted by a frightening sight. It was a mob like she has never seen before. It reminds her of scenes of Middle-Eastern revolutions back in the days except that it looks a thousand times more violent. They are coming towards them and she distinguishes bizarre, distraught faces. People who look like they are not quite there, with eyes focused in so many directions that she felt herself dizzy. Their clothes are dirty and bloodied and Blair almost thinks they must be those Occupy Wall Street youngsters but she sees a few older people and it dawns on her: they were not normal.

She is too far from the limousine and she realizes that the scream had come from the chauffeur who is now hurrying inside the car. Blair wants to run towards it but to her outrage, the bastard drives off, leaving her standing in front of the entrance and the approaching crowd.

_They are coming for me_, she realizes. What has she done?

She rings and hopes frantically that Dan answers. This is what the whole idea amounted down to: utter foolishness. What was it that made her come back to Brooklyn every time like a dog to some careless owner?

The people are on the other side of the street when Blair loses any sense of propriety. She presses her fingers on all the buttons, hoping someone would answer. She hears her own cries for help and she can't bear to look at what's behind her.

_They want my money that must be it!_

So Blair throws her Moschino satchel towards the street, thinking it might help. As she turns her face back to the impenetrable door, she catches a glimpse of one face. It is livid and rotten on one side. She thinks she sees blood but her mind refuses to take a second look.

Oddly enough, in her resignation to become their prey, Blair feels an odd sense of peace. If this were to bring about her death, she knows that there'll be no guilt. It is not of Chuck that she thinks but of Dan. She has sought him; she has tried. For once in her life, Blair has found enough will to face Dan.

_He will know. Once he hears of my body found in Brooklyn, he will know._

It brings him about, those thoughts of hers. She had planned on being happy to see him if Dan ever opened his door to her. Now, Blair is not happy. She is ecstatic, relieved and distressed all at once. His eyes widen when he sees her. He has a baseball bat in one arm and there are a few people cautiously following behind him. He takes her in and for a second, she thinks he would rather let her die on the other side of the glass door.

The notion dies when Dan hurries towards it and unlocks it in one motion. Behind her, the crowd seems louder. Animalistic.

It's his arms she seeks right away. She grasps his torso with the strength of despair and tucks her chin against his shoulder. The fright finally manifests itself and all she can do is whisper his name in between sobs. His hands are on her back, somehow holding her to him just like before. He smells so safe, like he always had.

"Blair…" Dan says roughly but he is unable to continue. He has not expected her to come. Not really. She has made her choice a long time ago. Why would there be anything left for him, any thought spared to the outsider who had loved her, any interest in whatever doings his life was consisted of?

The other residents of the building move about him, barricading the door but he is unable to let go of Blair. He senses her shock but there is also something delightful awaking in him, some old memory of her in his arms. It is her perfume, the same she used to wear before (and he had not smelled it on her, not even on her wedding day during that brief parting hug they had shared) when they used to watch movies on his couch. He lets his hand wander to her hair, feeling the soft strands against the tips of his fingers.

"I'm sorry." Blair mutters. He almost doesn't want to hear. It's the wrong time and he isn't sure if she has made the trip for this all along. He doesn't want desperate apologies.

He hears "They're coming!" and "Move away Dan!" and so, he forces Blair out of the embrace. They avoid each other's eyes but she has a hand on his arm as if afraid of any separation. There were days where he would have loved this. Now, she is someone else's wife.

They climb the stairs. Blair does not know the people but she imagines they were other residents of the building. Somewhere behind her, there are gargling sounds and guttural moans. She also hears nails scratching against the glass door and hurries forward.

"Stay in your apartments." A middle-aged man states sternly. "I don't know what's up with these mobsters. I think they're insane. But if they can't get through or hear anything, they won't be excited."

The small group of people separates. Everyone nods to each other and a few hands land on Blair's shoulders, giving her supportive squeezes. They all seem to trust Dan with her and so they don't say anything to her.

Dan starts for his loft and she follows. Her heart is still beating furiously. Blair has no words and feels like she has exhausted everything in that embrace. She wishes to leave suddenly.

He opens the door. It's dark inside but there is a silhouette on the corner, near the windows. It moves to greet them but stops short when it sees Blair due to the dull lighting of the corridor.

"Blair? Is that you?" She hears it and knows instantly that it's Serena. Her heart sinks and rises at the same time.

Before she can do anything, her friend hugs her and Blair feels trapped into something so old and familiar, it hurts.

**I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for writing new fics. I just love this concept too much. And it had to be finished. As I have said, I never carried through the project I had begun but I was urged to do so by a reviewer and so, here I am!**

**Drama is coming ahead. Right now, Dan is with Serena but we'll see how things will evolve!**

**Review if you feel generous my dear readers!**


	2. Darkness

**Yay for all the reviews! Making a shout-out here:**

**Lovelycupcake (I shall reply to your message soon!), Tabitha, Guest, Guest, Guest (lots of those and I love you all!), palmtree4665, Guest, Guest, Guest, Magnus57 (I'm on updating The UES Killers), gt-ginzinha (thank you so much!), Guest, Frenchyy and WordsIcantsay!**

"Serena!" Blair gasps. Her arms move to grab her friend's back in uncertain enthusiasm. There are too many questions in her head. Why was she here? Were she and Dan back together? How about the other members of his family? Surely Rufus…or worse, Jenny…She fears the answers but it is their own questions that are most likely to cause trouble.

She hears Dan moving towards the kitchen but the darkness of the loft turns him into a shadowed silhouette.

Serena releases her but her eyes are asking the question she has feared to hear. Soon enough, the words are out, formulated and she knows that Dan is listening too. She senses it through the lack of noise around her.

"What are you doing here?"

For a few minutes, Blair's mouth hangs open in a pose she most decidedly despises. But the lack of satisfactory and _logical_ explanation is appalling, even to a former master manipulator like her. She can't seem to come up with something because it suddenly makes no sense. Did she, Blair Waldorf, just impulsively hop on a limo and come to Brooklyn because Humphrey wouldn't answer her calls? The same Humphrey she had dumped unceremoniously for Chuck, as if he had been an appetizer before a main course. He owes her nothing and yet, she had braved a troubled Brooklyn for what? An apology, a conversation?

She misses him.

It's why she has decided to come. Blair doesn't deny it to herself. It makes her stomach sink because she wants to say it but it is unfathomable. Not with Serena around. In fact, Blair would not even say it to Dan. He would roll his eyes at her and sigh her name with frustration, tell her she cannot expect anything anymore from him. He had told her as much on the day of their wedding. They had hugged one last time but in her eagerness to be tied to Chuck, she had dismissed the whole thing as a friendly reconciliation. She remembers his words more clearly now, a year after when the frenzy of the wedding had finally settled and the realization that there had not been a greater reward in being Mrs. Bass.

"I hope you have a nice life." Dan had said and although she had interpreted it as a wish of good faith, she now hears the definitive tone. He sounded like he had no desire to see her again. It turned out true. They had not seen each other again until now.

"I was worried." Blair sputters. She finds nothing but the truth left. It is not committal; it doesn't mention any particulars. She could have been worried about Serena for all they knew.

Her friend is puzzled and Blair doesn't blame her. That answer would have had her just as confused.

"What's happening?" Blair asks before Serena has the good sense to inquire further.

Serena looks towards where Dan is as if she is unsure of what to say.

"There are a group of people attacking." She says to her. "It's been going on since Wednesday…I don't understand…"

"I've seen as much." Blair states with a shudder. She remembers their faces and it's impossible to believe that they were part of anything organized. They looked wild and chaotic, not like proper rioters who would cover their faces. "It's like…like they were hungry for something." The face of that man flashes before her, the one with the ghastly wound on his neck.

Serena takes her to the couch. They settle there and Blair learns the actual state of things.

Rufus had gone to the grocery store with a few of the neighbours. They had formed a volunteer group to investigate the state of things on the outside. He was supposed to come back a few hours ago but they haven't heard from any of them.

What Serena knows of the attackers is basic and Blair suspects that her friend has been trying to avoid the topic. Her expression shows reticence, as if the horror of it will come back in full power if she brings herself to speak of it. Blair urges her on.

If she is to be stuck at Brooklyn with her ex-boyfriend and her best friend, she damn well deserves to know what is the cause of it.

Serena says that the sector is quarantined, that they are most likely closing the bridges by now. The news, which they still manage to get, warned of a pandemic but, it is not yet known what the specifics are. All that is known is that they should stay away from whoever was outside.

Blair is shaking. She tries to think of anything worse happening to her but nothing comes to mind, not even Chuck's betrayals. She selfishly wishes Serena was not there…She could have handled being stuck in the loft with Dan alone, even if he was angry with her. She would have _wanted_ it. It would have forced them to confront each other but now, with Serena, such a thing will be hindered.

Dan comes to her after while. Serena is speaking about Lily and Eric who are still in the city and who probably have no idea about her whereabouts. Blair nods but she is more aware of his footsteps approaching them. Serena's words drown in the background but she smiles at Dan.

Blair pretends she is listening. Her eyes are resolutely fixed on her friend but in her head, it's his arms she thinks of. In that small moment downstairs, he had been hers. Blair is convinced of it.

"Here." Dan says softly.

She turns to find a mug of tea and she realizes that it's what he has been doing all along. Her heart skips a beat. It was all too familiar, too much goodness for her to stomach it because Lord knows she doesn't deserve it.

Dan doesn't really look towards her. His eyes are not on Serena either. He seems preoccupied and she wants to pry but her friend is still talking in a way that almost unnerves her. She almost wishes that Serena had been cleverer. How hard is it to figure out why Blair was in Brooklyn? Couldn't Serena realize that Gossip Girl had long ago tired of posting of their whereabouts, that Blair could not have traced Serena for the world, that she has been worried about _Dan_ and no one else?

If Serena could understand, it would have made things easier. Instead, there is this awkwardness…She is the third unknowing party and neither Blair nor Dan can discuss anything in front of her. Blair thinks she should be relieved but she is not.

She takes the mug, one of her fingers briefly coming into contact with his knuckle. His skin is as warm as the tea and she feels a nonsensical blush rising. Dan still does not look at her. His hands used to do such things to her. She remembers.

She also remembers the mug. It's the same one she always picked when they used to hang out here. It was a burgundy thing with line drawings of cottages in cream. At the time, she had proclaimed that none of the Humphreys' other mugs would do for her distinguished mouth so Dan had taken a habit to give it to her every time.

She can't believe he still has it, can't believe he would still indulge her in her silly requests especially after the way she's treated him.

It turns dark and the two are still talking. He has his own worries and Blair being here really does not help. His father is somewhere, perhaps dead, perhaps one of _them _and he tries his hardest not to imagine the worse. He doesn't need Blair to add herself to the list of things he doesn't want to think about.

Dan has to think of the other neighbours too; Julia 's baby daughter needs milk and the Stevensons were too old to protect themselves if something were to happen. Except for Tyron, Richard, Elizabeth and himself, the other competent adults were all gone and if it were to come to a confrontation, they'd be doomed.

Serena and Blair were not from Brooklyn and while he was no warrior himself, he is sure that their distinguished way of life would definitely hinder them in the case of an attack.

_Blair has some spunk, remember?_

Images of their fight at the _W _launch party come back to him. The girl had tackled him to the ground. Never had he been treated such by a girl. At the time, Dan had felt surprised but also a strange kind of excitement. He liked that Blair had no problem with physicality, not even in front of people. She manhandled him like a natural, and he had allowed her to do so because it didn't bother him. It didn't even seem to be out of place that Blair Waldorf should grab at his arm and drag him along like neither of them had expected any resistance.

_What is she doing here?_

The question repeats itself like a particularly unpleasant part of a broken record. He has ignored her calls because he doesn't have any reason other than the obvious to do so. She can't come back to him like that.

Dan glances towards her occasionally. She doesn't look at him but he knows he has the upper hand; she is the one who decided to come and so, she is the one who owes explanations. Her ringed finger is too visible for his taste and he hates how sometimes, her fingers would twist it about. It reminds him of whom she belongs to and it strikes him as a gesture of conditioning. Blair does it without really thinking about it.

Outside strange sounds resonate, distant and chilling. He hears a howl and car alarms ringing. The window reveals a dark street, empty. The other buildings are lightless, their own windows betraying no trace of light. Everybody had duly listened to the alert in the news. Dan quickly shuts the panel of curtain. He has lit a few candles but even their fluttering light may betray them.

He is afraid but he can't show it. Serena is already halfway to a nervous breakdown and he is certain that Blair, with her dramatics and tendency to see the worse, would follow her along if it were to happen. Suddenly, it's bitterness he feels. These girls, always part of his life, always infiltrating themselves in his thoughts at the worse of times… Could he not live a pandemic or apocalypse or whatever that was without having to deal with Upper East Siders?

He gave Blair and Serena his bed so that they can have each other's proximity for the night. Dan is sitting on his father's bed, unable to sleep. The silence of the loft is insupportable. He can hear the violence outside more clearly and he wonders where that crowd had gone to, if it is still around just waiting to strike again.

In the end, he stands up and leaves the room. The television seems like a good option for his restless mind. Movies have never failed him.

Dan searches through his dvd collection, looking for something cheerful but not stupid; he wants something to make him think.

It's hard in the dark and the light of his cellphone doesn't last long before he has to fumble for it and press a key again.

"Casablancano…Mean Girls, too funny…" Dan mutters to himself. "The Importance of Being Earnest…mmm."

"That's a good one." He hears a soft voice behind him say.

It's her. Of course it's her.

For a second, Dan doesn't know how to react so he continues his browsing but the titles of the movies become blurs. Suddenly, he knows he wants to watch some Wilde because it was the exact dosage of intelligent nonsense he needed but some part of him doesn't want to give her satisfaction or acknowledgement.

"I can't sleep." Blair continues as if he had asked her what she was doing here.

"And Serena?" Dan asks.

"She is out. I thought she would be too afraid to…"

He nods but the light of the phone goes out and she probably doesn't see it.

He takes out the movie in one movement, stands up and moves past her. He just realizes that the television would be too much light so he'll have to watch it on his laptop.

Blair follows him.

"I was worried about you." He hears her say and it seems like his legs can't take him fast enough to his father's room. He doesn't want that, not now. He wishes he could pretend he isn't thrilled by the thought of Blair being worried about _him_. He doesn't want to acknowledge the way his heart jumps a little and he even imagines himself kissing her in the darkness where no one, not Chuck, not Serena, would ever know. He wants and he doesn't want; it's a battle of will inside him because he has never really stopped loving her. He only stopped seeing her.

"Are you listening to me?" Blair commands quietly. They are both aware of Serena in the next room and it feels so much like they are doing something wrong.

"I never stopped listening to you." It sounds bitter because it is true. He'll always listen to Blair.

"You didn't answer my calls, so what was I supposed to do? I had to come and I know you wouldn't have called back. I know it! I know you don't want to speak to me Dan."

He has no idea of the distance between them but he hears the door swing and understands that she has closed it. Dan fumbles for his phone but he can't find it. He left it in the living room.

"I'm happy you thought of me Blair. I really am." It's as much as he can master himself to say. He has much more inside but it's not the time. _It's not the time…_

"That is very badly veiled sarcasm. You can do better than that." Blair replies in the dark.

Dan was never far from anger. The dark, her soft voice and her proximity…the danger outside, his missing father…it's all too much. He wants her selfishly, wants to touch her and be one with her just as much as he wants to curse her out in the dangerous streets. For Dan always knew that once he would see her again, he will _want _her; he has avoided her because he can love from afar. Once she is too close, it's another story.

It'll be a false satisfaction to try anything. Blair will never be his. Yet, she did come here. After a year of perfect estrangement, she shows up at his doorstep after having braved a horde of madmen. It is all so unlike her. Waldorf has pride. She doesn't seek those who ignore her. It's what propels him to ask in a forceful tone:

"Why are you here? Tell me the truth Blair. Don't embellish it. Don't speak fast and jump over things like you think I can't notice. Don't…just don't _lie_ all right? I'm sick of lies."

"I miss you." Blair says automatically. She wants to bite her tongue but it's too late anyway and why would she conceal it? She misses him as one would miss a dear friend. Never mind that she also misses those other parts of him that one would never learn to know only as 'just friends'; things like the way his lips smiled against hers, his arm around her while they watched movies, the large hands against her breasts….She wants their lovemaking because she is tired of knowing exactly when she and Chuck will have sex because when he comes back from work, Blair has to fulfill her part of the contract. It's the informality of Dan Humphrey that Blair wants, the messiness of him with his long sentences and equally long hair. It's horrible outside and she might soon be at the mercy of whatever was in the streets but she is happy nonetheless; she is at the loft with him. If that's the last thing she will remember, let it be so.

Dan sucks in a long breath. He feels his heart jump because this is the same tone she had used when she had told him her heart was his. He has fallen for it before but he can't now. He can't.

"I'm with Serena. I'm with her now." Dan tells her as if she had suggested anything out of place. He doesn't even convince himself.

**I don't know if I should have ended this chapter like this. But I didn't know where to cut it! Anyway, I thank you all for the great reviews! SO HAPPY TO HAVE READERS LIKE YOU! (I promise to dedicate my time to writing either At W or The UES Killers! I just had to continue with the flow of this one)**

**It may be too early to hit them with the longing but I think those two love each other well enough by now. Dan never really stopped loving Blair, we could see that from the fact that he always helped her through her Chuck issues. And as for Blair, it took a marriage with Chuck to finally realize who she truly loved. Anyways, please review!**

**I love reviews as much as Chuck loves himself hahahahaha**


	3. Deliverance

**Hello dear readers! I decided to return to this fic at last. I am so happy to see all the reviews you guys left me. Please, do continue!**

**So without further ado, enjoy!**

"I'm with Serena. I'm with her now."

Blair hears it like a slamming door. She wants to ask him why. Why was he with Serena? What had Serena ever done to deserve him but look pretty with her blond hair and long legs? How could he be with her when she could not understand him at all? Blair would have understood if he had chosen Vanessa; she would have even approved in a certain way. It would make sense for Dan to revert to his old Brooklyn flame after all that they had put him through. At least Vanessa spoke his language: she could understand film references and make plenty of her own. She was intelligent too, had worked hard to get what she wants.

But Serena… As much as she is her friend, Blair will always wonder at all these intelligent men falling head over heels for her, never questioning her decisions or their own. She has made her angry a thousand times but now, it's a hot red jealousy scalding her insides. It's not because she is married to Chuck. That seemed trivial at the moment. It's because Serena had once more managed to prevail, to have the one man who was meant to be hers.

"I know." She forces herself to say in the darkness. Her throat constricts with having to control her emotions. She wants to say more but finds it impossible.

He breathes in a few times. The air seems too heavy for proper respiration. He has something in his hand and vaguely remembers it's that movie he was going to watch but really, his whole body is pumping for her. It's something exhilarating, a brew of hatred and unfathomable love for that one woman behind him. It'll drive him mad; he knows it. He briefly considers leaving the loft to run until he never has to see her again, until he gets caught by one of those beings outside and get torn to pieces because it was all the same wasn't it? She had torn him to pieces a thousand times already.

"I need to sleep." He mutters roughly. Any other tone would have betrayed him.

The funny thing is that he wants her to keep trying.

"Oh yes…sorry." She mutters. He hears the door, her light retreating steps. His disappointment exceeds his relief, but only by a little.

He doesn't watch the movie.

The morning has Blair in anguish. It seems the noises outside only intensified; there's one car whose alarm feels as though it's pounding just next to her ear.

Serena is not in the bed. The door is closed but she can hear the faint noise of a conversation. The loft's walls always were paper-thin.

She stays in the bed for a few minutes. It still smells of Dan, especially her pillow. She realizes she had slept on his side.

Nothing has changed. His bookshelf was still over packed. Cedric, the cabbage patch is perched between a copy of _Othello _and another one of _Dubliners. _She thinks he is glaring at her from its position.

There is the usual sweater lying on the corner chair. She stands up and walks up to it. It is an old thing that Dan liked to wear during weekends. She had hated the attire for a while because it was that shade of grey nobody cared for and it had nothing to recommend itself to anyone; no pattern, no logo, no print. Once, after he had made love to her on that very chair, she remembers having felt bold and worn it afterwards. She had never been more his than in that moment.

Blair wants to wear it now. Her clothes are beautiful, expensive and all the rest but they are not comfortable and hardly practical for the situation at hand. That sweater will do her good, she is convinced of it and yet, it's a liberty she cannot take. He wouldn't like it.

To remain in the room was safer than to brave the two of them. She has had enough awkwardness for a lifetime. The bed appears inviting and she thanks the Lord that Dan was an avid reader. She really has no reason to come out.

Serena is surprisingly calm in the morning. He prepares coffee and they take it with evaporated milk from a can. It's pretty bland to his coffee connoisseur's taste and Serena doesn't even go beyond the first sip.

"Slept well?" He asks her.

"Yes. Oddly, yes." She answers. "I was too tired and the shock…God."

"I know. But we're fine. We'll be fine." Empty words. "I'm here for you."

Serena smiles, reaches for his hand. He accepts it, even gives it a reassuring squeeze but everything seems so mechanical, as if he was rehearsing moments from four years ago.

"And you?"

He hasn't watched a movie but he had not slept either. He lies and says he has slept soundly just so he doesn't have to talk about the many reasons why he could not find sleep, which had only amounted to one since Blair has barged in. She makes him forget about his missing father. It's scandalous to no end; he feels his entrails twist in anger.

They talk about little trifles, as if they don't hear the bizarre sounds from outside. Dan is struck by just how much she hasn't changed. She still has the same smile, the same beautiful face…so he kisses her because he feels he has to, because he really isn't cheating on her in his mind. Serena responds eagerly and it's a bit desperate. It has no finesse; his mouth still tastes of the bitter coffee and evaporated milk.

They break apart. She smiles again, biting her lower lip…her signature move. He can't look at her.

"I'm happy." She tells him. "I'm happy that I'm with you. Whatever's out there…" She breathes in. "…At least we're together."

"Yes."

And then, he asks the inevitable because how can he not think about her?

"Is Blair still asleep?"

"I think so. I didn't want to wake her up. I thought it'd be harsh, you know. She has never really liked Brooklyn. So Brooklyn with a bunch of street mobsters to her won't be any better."

_That isn't true_. Nobody can tell Dan that Blair had never liked Brooklyn. It's just one of those things that still managed to frustrate him. She used to call on him so often, to come all the way to his pathetic loft just so she could talk about her day. At one point, it had become so natural that he wondered whether or not she had ever really despised Brooklyn at all.

He thinks that it was all for nothing, really. They had become close only to be thrown back into total estrangement.

But he has no will to deny Serena's statement. He is just amazed at how much she has managed to suppress the whole idea of them having been together from her mind. Serena never mentions his time with Blair. She never mentions _Inside _and if she does, it's only hurriedly, as if it were an insignificant detail on a larger picture.

It's like she's brainwashed herself into forgetting it ever happened and he sometimes thinks she had put them all back to their high school years as if they were pawns on some big board game in her mind.

"Sure. She's better off sleeping anyway."

Serena agrees. They hang around, sometimes saying something to which the other would only nod in response. He tries to reassure her. It sounds empty, as hollow as his hopes for his father. They hug and talk some more. Then, she announces that she has to shower and Dan is internally happy for it.

He checks in with the neighbours. Richard and Tyron have nothing to report. The search party hasn't come back. Dan tells them he'll take this night's shift on the roof. It'll clear his mind and give him something to do.

He comes back to his loft, finding Serena still in the shower. There are no traces of Blair so he starts to worry she decided to leave alone or something, which he knows it's something Blair could totally do.

Apprehensively, he knocks on the door of his room.

Blair hears the knock and quickly shuts the book she was reading but before she can successfully stuff it away amongst the multitude of novels Dan owned, the door opens.

It's Dan. She feels herself blushing and her heartbeat automatically shuts up to a mile an hour. He looks tired, a little relieved but mostly surprised.

"You're reading _Inside_?" He blurts out.

It cannot get any worse, Blair thinks. Dan is waiting for her answer, as if the book in her hands was not incriminating enough.

"I needed a distraction." Blair manages to reply. "It's pretty horrible outside and I don't want to have to think about it."

"But there are other books." He says with incredulity. "You said this book was barely tolerable at best. That is quoting you very accurately."

"I never read all of it." Blair replies defensively. "I think it was unfair to base my opinion on only a few passages and words from others. And since I have nothing better to do, why not give "

"Really?" He interrupts her, advancing one step. Blair realizes she must look utterly ridiculous. Her hair was messy; she had taken off her pencil skirt to go to sleep and was left with her silk blouse that barely reached a third of her thighs.

He has grown a bit too clever for her tastes. Or may be it's that she had forgotten how skilled he was at reading her. She can't hold his look for long.

"I'm going to give it a chance." She mutters. "I owe it to you."

"You don't owe me anything. _We _don't owe each other anything." He says quietly.

"We were friends Dan! So if only just for that, I think I have "

"Oh stop it, Blair! You didn't treat me like a friend before so there is no reason to start now. Whatever crazy situation is out there will _not _make me forget. I'm not going to get all survivalist and start caring about you again, pretend like I'm still Dan the safety wheel or what not."

"Is that what you think you were to me?" Blair replies in a shout. She is up on her feet before she realizes it. There is something about a verbal fight with Dan that always had her standing on her toes. "In case it's not clear enough, I'm here because I missed you. I'm here because I was worried sick and you wouldn't answer the phone, you… you…ugh!"

Dan closes the door, keeping his eyes on her. The curls of his hair are out of order and they seem just as angry as he is. There is the bed between them but it's such an insignificant barrier. It's almost like she can feel his heart beating too.

"You came here because you were bored. I don't know where Chuck is but my guess is that he's probably off somewhere making money and leaving you behind. That's what you signed up for, right? The comfortable, wealthy world you know…of course, I could never give you that. And now you don't have a husband who cares enough…but it's your problem."

It's too much to bear because he doesn't know that it's not true. That as soon as their honeymoon was over, Blair had never stopped thinking about Dan, about his smile, about the way he'd get excited for their small dates in front of his television. It pains her to know that he'll never believe her.

"I came here because I care. It has nothing to do with Chuck!"

"No, Blair…"

"I DID! I CARE!"

Her scream takes them both by surprise. Her eyes are tearing up fast so she looks away. She hears his steps, getting closer to her and she feels she might just lose it.

"What do you mean?" Dan whispers. It's hoarse but not with the anger of yesterday. She detects longing and it fills her with indescribable hope. May be she hasn't lost him. "Because you know I haven't stopped caring, don't you? I've written a goddamn book about you. I'll never stop caring, however much you'll use me. That's why you can't do this to me. It's not _fair_."

He is so close that it intoxicates her. She hears a scream in the distance but it seems to encourage her to do something she will most definitely regret.

"I love you." She states in a tiny voice.

Dan sucks in a breath. He feels as if someone has just injected him with some anaesthetic fluid. Somewhere in his stomach, there are painful fireworks and his head is not quite there. He must not have heard it properly. She probably said that she loathes him. It can't be.

So he levels is head to hers, pleads with his eyes because his voice is not in any functional state at the moment. She turns, her eyes meeting his and sees the relief, the pain and something else that makes his heart jump.

"You mean it." He breathes out. "Blair… you can't play with my heart…you can't…I won't be able to handle it again."

She swallows hard, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I've loved you for a while now. You were with me in my nights Dan, no matter how close Chuck was to me, it was you I thought of. I didn't even try to stop myself after a while."

He brings his hand to her cheek, caresses it so carefully because it might still all be a joke. Chuck will crash in with his limo and she'll leave him again and he'll be left with bitterness all over again.

"Please…" She pleads and he doesn't even have to guess at the reason. His hand can't get enough of her skin and when she takes it in hers, he knows he will kiss her. He has to kiss her.

But they hear the door of the bathroom open. He moves away, the reality hitting him in the shape of his girlfriend, Serena. She can't see them like this.

Blair still stares at him, disappointment obvious on her face. He wants to say that he isn't choosing Serena, that it has been only Blair for a long time now but he doesn't have much time for that.

As for Blair, her heart sinks in. They can't do this to Serena. They have done too much of this cheating and backstabbing before. She should be happy but it seems fate will always throw something on their way.

**Alright, I hope you enjoyed this one hehehe! I loved writing it. I had so many feels that I broke down in tears. I decided to make this fic progress a little faster and I'm sorry for the lack of zombies in this chapter. They'll come in the next chapter hehehe.**

**Lots of Dair angst and, may be a little physicality, who knows hehehe?**

**Reviews are always welcomed!**


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